I'm sorry that I haven't been keeping this as updated as perhaps I should.  The "downer" days around chemo really affect my mood and my desire to do much of anything. And unfortunately for you, that includes blogging.

We did get to surprise Ciera on Sunday!  It was wonderful!  I was only strong enough to stick around for about an hour, but it was good to see her with her friends and to see her so surprised.  I guess about a week ago, she said to Meleia, "I can't believe my 16th birthday just came and went with no recognition."  Now... NOW she's been recognized.  She had a great day.  About 20 kids showed up and they played frisbee and volleyball.  We took our stereo which holds 50 CDs and had Meleia raid all of Ciera's music to crank up.  They ate sugar until they popped and grilled hot dogs.  It was lovely.  A few pictures (I'll post a link to more when I get them uploaded)...

With "big brother" Jake

With her parents

Yakkin' with some friends

Walking across the field with Zach & Collin.

A short story about that last picture:  Collin has lymphoma.  His diagnosis has been hard on my girl.  It's been hard on him, too.  But I just love that last picture, because in it, he's just a teenager.  Walking with his friends.  They all just look so relaxed and like they're enjoying each other's company.  It's very cool.  BTW, Collin outlasted me at the party.  I wish I were 16 again!  NO! NO I DON'T!  Take that back...  I wish I had the ENERGY of a 16-year-old again!

It is positively pouring rain outside.  And the dogs are out.  Shoot.  They all have shelter, but whether they're smart enough to use it is the question.  Olie is so scared of thunder it isn't funny.  He is probably huddled under the deck thinking that the world is coming to an end!!!

I found out that my baby brother is flying into town for my birthday this weekend.  I can't wait to see him and hug his neck.  Mama and Daddy and Paul and the kids are hosting a come and go open house for just a few people on Saturday so that I can feel like I had a party, but not have to have a whole party.  If I sat down and thought about everyone locally that was important to me, we could wind up with 50 people at the house.  But I'm not up to that.  So, we invited just a few couples and we'll have a good time.  I'll take my Xanax and will be nice and relaxed.

OK, time for the rain to stop so that I can go down to the hospital and get blood drawn!

It's day 3, and the icky day post-chemo.  I'm in bed, feeling a bit of heartburn despite the meds, and sleeping on and off.

I did get the transfusion yesterday, and it was wonderful.  I haven't "pinked up" as much as they would like, but it will get better, I guess.  Dr. H said that I should have gotten my aranesp shot last week even though we skipped chemo, but I didn't, so that might contribute to the hemoglobin drop.

The ultrasound showed that the clot in my leg is gone.  Which means that the swelling in my leg is unexplained.  So next week, I'll likely be having another CT scan to see if we can figure out what's causing all the swelling.

My mom is here, which is very helpful. 

I'm hoping Ciera doesn't read here today:  Tomorrow is her surprise Sweet 16 party. It was in the planning before I had to postpone chemo, so I'll only be able to go for a short while.  Her friend, Collin, who has cancer, is coming, and he has chemo every week.  So, I should be able to do it...  I don't know.  We'll have to see.  We're having it up at the church camp.  We'll have volleyball and cookout hot dogs and music.  It should be fun.  She'll enjoy it, I think.

Now to get her there...

OK, off to rest a bit more.  Must conserve energy for tomorrow.

 Well, despite the mystery fever, I had chemo today.  The stat bloodwork showed that my hemoglobin had dropped a full point since last week.  I was 9.1 last week, and 8.1 today.  Which would explain why I couldn't keep my eyes open yesterday. 

So tomorrow, I also get a blood transfusion.  And I'm also having another ultrasound of the upper leg to see if the clot has come back.  If it hasn't, then I have to have another CT scan.

One picture of Ciera and Paul at the NHS Induction:

We are very proud of her.

No one can get those links to work.  Grrrr... So I've uploaded one of the songs from Ciera's Vocal Variety Show last night to the Xanga server.  Let's see if THIS works...

We got Paul a new digicam for his graduation.  It records movies up to 3 minutes long with sound!!!  So I'm testing live linking YouTube so that folks can see them.  You guys are going to get tired of these!  Sorry.

I don't understand why YouTube pixelates the movie so much.  Phooey.  Is there a setting there that I'm missing?

OK, this is Rohan CROSSING the finish line...

And this is Rohan talking about it...

  OK, in chronological order.  First some silly ones I took with my Daddy last Sunday, a week ago. He bought that awful hat as a joke for a cousin's wedding a few years ago!

Next, the freak snowstorm we got last week.  The first one is as it started to fall.  With the beautiful blue sky is the next day...

Now, Paulie's Graduation!

He and I posing with his diploma

His Mom & Dad

His children minus the one in Denver at "Wicked"

Rohan posing in Daddy's hat

A favorite professor

A friend from hockey

And last, but not least, Mother's Day!

My beautiful arrangement!

And them bringing it to me in bed!

Somehow, we didn't take any pictures after I got dressed and makeup on, so pretend I don't look so sick in that picture, K?

• So, today, we celebrate that I have given birth four times!!!  Geez!  I have been given "Force toast" in bed (explanation to follow), a card from Colton that is a Tapir, and hugs from the girlies.
• EDIT: My friend, Anne, to an Edible Arragements arrangement from her hubby on Friday for her first Mothers' day (She's preggers for the first time). I showed them to the family, and guess what they did??  They made their own!  It looks wonderful. Mostly strawberries with about 15 chocolate covered ones in there.  Yum.
• Colton was in his Jedi knight robe, so French Toast became "Force Toast."  Get it?
• I've found a loose edge on the medical super glue over my collarbone incision from the port placement.
• Tell me to stop picking at it.
• EDIT: I accidentally picked off all of the super glue.  The wound came wide open.  Thank God for steri-strips.  They're now holding the collarbone incision closed.  Also thanking God that the incision is only about 1/2" long.
• Ciera has decided that she's not trying out for cheer next year
• She has other things she really wants to focus on, like theater and voice
• Cheer is a packed schedule, and she needs to free up some time.
• She also said that this next year promises to be dramatic with the return of one of the girls who quit this year and with the promotion of several dramatic 8th graders to HS.
• She said she has enough drama in her life, thank you!
• She'll miss it
• So will I
• But I want her to be happy more than I want her to be a cheerleader.
• I think she's making a very mature decision, and I'm proud of her.
• Meleia has a $35 pair of tennis shoes she wants.
• I told her that if she could get my room tackled and at least get all of the clothes put away and the school papers into the filing cabinet and put away anything else she knows where it goes, I'd buy them for her.
• My room already looks better.
• And she's only done the clothes
• I have to go get a shower and get ready for church.
• Happy Mother's Day!!

So, yesterday, Dr. H called in an antibiotic and my lovenox injections to Wal-Mart.  Because of Paul's graduation, I couldn't get them picked up.  But I also had a paper script for the Fentanyl patches.  10-100 mcg/hr and 10-50 mcg/hr.  So, I worked this morning and then left to go get the scripts.  I got to Wal-mart and dropped off the patch scripts and told them that I'd pick up everything in 20 minutes. 

10 minutes later, they page me.  They only have 5 of the 50 mcg/hr, and insurance won't fill the 100s until the 12th (which is fine, I still have 3).  Do I want the 5?  Can you give me the other 5 in a few days?  Nope.  Well, then NO, I don't want the 5. I'll have to pay the copay twice AND go to the doc's office to get another paper prescription.

So, I pay for my other prescriptions... $50 each.  7 Lovonox syringes, and 7 pills of a new antibiotic. Geez.

I head to King Soopers.  Just walking from the handicapped parking to the store entrance has me in a lot of pain.  But they don't have any electric carts and the pharmacy is in the back of the store.  Fortunately, when I got back there, they had 10-50 mcg/hr patches. Hallelujah.  So I sit down and wait.  And it is THEN that I figure out that the 12th is stinking TOMORROW!!!!!  Ay yi yi.

I checked my BP at King Soops, too, and my pulse rate was still in the 120s. I don't know what's up with my heart.

So now I'm home.  I have 150 mcg/hr patches on (let's see if it does anything), and have taken off my stocking.  I have an ice pack against the top of my thigh where it burns that the elastic was tight against it.  And life will be OK in a bit. *Sigh*

Well, it's SUPPOSED to be chemo day.

But yesterday, I was running a fever at the doctor's office.  He thinks it might just be from my port surgery, but it could be from an infection.  So, until they are sure that I don't have an active infection, no chemo.  They accessed my port for the first time and drew blood and upped my pain meds again and referred me to a special physical therapist for help with the swelling in my leg and my pain.

I also have to go back to giving myself Lovonox shots.  He's worried that perhaps the increased swelling in my leg is due to another blood clot.

So, he wanted me to come back in on Tuesday morning for chemo, but if I do that, I have to take the whole rest of the week off next week.  I'm running out of FMLA, and I really would rather not do that. So I'm going to call this morning and see if we can push it off until Thursday so that I'll be able to just take Thursday and Friday off and then go straight through the weekend feeling icky before I return to work on Monday.

Paul is all graduated!!  YAY!  Thank God for the wheelchair, that's all I have to say.  But his graduation wasn't super long, which was wonderful.  The program had over 2,000 names in it, but the Colorado Springs version only graduated about 150 of those.  The main campus is in Denver, and I guess everyone else graduated from there last Saturday.  I'm sure that ceremony took a LOT longer than ours did.  But this smaller one was very nice.

OK... that's it.  I'll be going into the office this morning after I get an hour nap...

And I'm sore.  Not horrendous pain.  Just sore.  They didn't give me nearly the versed that they gave me when they put in my G-tube. I remember the whole thing.  I think.  I might have fallen asleep for a few minutes.  I was covered with a sterile drape, so I don't know for sure.

But it's in, and it's ready to use.  When I was uncovered in the OR, they had a large screen with an x-ray shot of where my port is, along with the cath line going to my heart.  I asked if they could print that for me, and they did. So I was able to show the kids.  They think it's pretty cool.

That's it for today.  Just wanted you to know that the procedure went fine, and I'm glad it's over with.