Well, not quite, but they're in Colorado Springs, and by now, should be in our car and headed this way.  WOOHOO!!!!

It's been a busy week, and I haven't taken the time to post.  I promise to do a long post tomorrow and let you know what's up and what decisions have been made, etc.

My online friend, Susie, who lives in Scotland is doing her local Race for Life in the memory of a friend who lost her battle with cancer, and in honor of my current fight.  Visit her page, and if you're interested, give her a little support! http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/susiemck  Thanks, Susie!  It means a lot to me.

See the Spring Sale Flyer below!

To shop online go to http://www.ourlemongrassspa.com/evie

Try the new Juicy Pear Items!

Spring Blossom Gift Sets are only available through May 31st!  Great ideas for Mother's Day!

Canadian friends, I'm getting ready to place an order of my own.  If you would like to place an order, email me at evie.lemongrass@hotmail.com, and I will add your order to mine and ship it to you when it arrives at my house.

Today, I met with my medical oncologist to discuss the next steps in chemotherapy.

There are a lot of decisions that need to be made, and while I appreciate that all of you will have opinions, know that in the end, the decision has to be my own, and if I make a decision differently than you would have, please support me anyway.

Dr. H is asking the hospital where I had my surgery to take a new look at the cancerous mass that they removed.  If the cells have hormone receptors on the surface, his suggestion is that I start immediately on Tamoxifen.  Tamoxifen is a drug normally given for breast cancer, but if my cancer is hormone fed, then we need to block the hormone receptors.  This would cause the cancer cells to be incapable of growing, and in some cases kill the cells all together.

If my cancer cells have hormone receptors, this is my choice of therapies.

However, if the cells do not have hormone receptors, meaning that the cells are not fed by hormones, then I have a major decision to make.

We could go ahead and do chemotherapy, but there is no guarantee that it would work.  Chemotherapy is not going to cure my cancer.  Like Elizabeth Edwards, my cancer is treatable, but not curable.  There is metastatic disease in my hip bone, which is contributing to the pain I feel walking.

Dr. H's recommendation is that we wait.  In 2 or 3 months, we do another CT scan.  We see if the cancer has grown any.  Then we make a decision again to do Chemo or not to do Chemo.  If it has not grown, his recommendation is that we wait.

The chemo that he would be using on me is very tough. It would be a combination of Taxol and Carboplatin.  He believes that my quality of life would be so drastically negatively affected that it would not be worth it until we have no other choice.  The choice, however, is mine, and if I want to go ahead and try three rounds of chemo and then do another CT, I can do that.  He will completely support any decision that I make.

He believes that I might live years before the cancer grows again.  That perhaps radiation and chemo knocked it out enough to send it into remission.  There is a difference between remission and cured, however. 

Remission is the state of absence of disease activity in patients with known chronic illness. It is commonly used to refer to absence of active cancer.

Cure means that there is no more cancer period in my body.

I have the option of getting another opinion, but I believe that the docs in the cancer center are a great team and that they work well together.  I trust that they're doing what's best for me.  Dr. H said that I'm looking better and getting stronger.  That my color is good, my weight is good, and that he really doesn't want to make me sick again with no guarantee of a positive result.

So, if you could be praying over my decision making process, I would be most appreciative.  That God would make it ultimately clear what the best road is. 

Also, pray for my sweet girls.  They took off for Mexico yesterday, and were both so excited.  I hope that they have an amazingly wonderful trip!

Edit at the bottom:

This morning, I saw, Dr. P, my radiation oncologist.  After hearing from the staff how great I looked, and weighing in at a whopping 119 pounds, I was taken back to see Dr. P.  He had me lay down on the table and palpated my abdomen where the cancerous lymph nodes were.  He said that they are considerably smaller than they used to be!!!  Now, he still suspects that there is some disease there, but radiation did shrink the cancer.

I had my CT scan yesterday and felt like crapola after having to drink 100 mL of barium.  But today, I'm feeling much better.  The barium has made its way through my system so I'm not so growly anymore.

Spring break has started for Colton and Rohan!  It starts for the girls in about 2 hours.  The girls leave for their mission trip on Sunday.  The boys will have a fun-packed week going fishing and skiing with their Daddy.

So, I'm going to have a very good weekend not worrying about what Dr. H will say on Monday after getting the CT results.  Today is a good day.  I'm feeling good, and the lymph nodes are considerably smaller.

Yep, today is a good day...

That was 1000 mL of barium (yup, drank 3 and then had to drink a 4th at the exam).  And the disease is cancer.  He suspects that there is still cancer in there.  But that it has shrunk.

I know that a lot of you were concerned about the lack of a PET scan.  Here is Dr. H's response to the question "should we pay for a PET scan ourselves?"

Evie,

I got your message passed to be by Jill.  The reason that I opted not to fight the insurance company further for the PET scan is the possibility of a false positive result.  Radiation is going to continue to work for weeks beyond the last radiation fraction, and in talking to Dr. P, he recommends not doing a PET scan for 8-12 weeks after the last fraction of radiation.  The insurance companies take a more conservative approach by stretching this out to 120 days or just over 17 weeks.  If we were to do the scan now, there is a high likelihood that it would demonstrate uptake in the areas treated with RT.  We are looking for residual disease that survived the chemo/RT.  I would like to do the CT scan so that we have a baseline scan to compare to the original one you had in November.  Ultimately, I will be using CT scans to follow your response to treatment, as we will be more interested in assessing changes in size of any suspicious areas, rather than looking for complete resolution on PET scan as a determination of response to therapy.  I believe that we can use the PET scan intermittently to validate our response to therapy.  I don't feel compelled to use it up front and would rather reserve it for when I know we are going to get a good, unbiased scan.  I believe that the RT may cloud the issue and give us false positive results.  I am interested in seeing anatomically what is different now that you have gone through definitive RT with chemotherapy, comparing the pretreatment scan with a scan 4-5 months later (now).  I would specifically be looking for decrease in size and number of nodes.  Please let your mother know that getting a PET scan now will not have anything to do with or impact on your survival.  In my mind, the PET scan is not worth the hassle.  We can get plenty of information from the CT scan and utilize the PET scan later after we have done some chemotherapy, specifically to validate the findings on CT scan.  I hope that this makes sense.  I don't write good e-mails because I am so long winded.  Let me know if you have any other questions.

Insurance is holding firm.  And I agree with every one of you who commented on insurance companies who think that they know more than the doctors.  They suck, and they make me really really mad.

So now I'll have a CT scan at some point this week, and pray that it gives Dr. H the information that he needs to begin chemo.  I have to trust that God is in control of this, but it's very frustrating. 

OK, devotional for the day:

Genesis 12:1  The Lord had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you."

Step By Step - by Kim Jones

When God gives us direction, he often only gives us the information one step at a time.  And we want the whole journey mapped out!  God gave me a real-life object lesson about this concept as a church camp counselor.  The kids were having the time of their lives and drawing closer to God, but every day the same problem emerged: Instead of just relaxing and enjoying the activity at hand, the kids would constantly ask, "What are we doing next?" "What are we doing tonight?" "What are we doing tomorrow?"

It was frustrating.  Their continual obsession with "What's coming next?" was robbing them of the joy of their present moment, the thrill of the immediate activity.

When Abraham left Ur, he didn't get a map or an itinerary from the Lord.  He didn't know what the future held or where God was leading him.  He simply set out at the Lord's command, trusting him to take care of each new day and each new circumstance.  It's the way of faith - and it's a lot less stressful!

I have an appointment with Dr. H. on Thursday!  But I was supposed to have a PET scan prior to that.  And so far, insurance won't approve it. *sigh*

So, what does that mean?  I guess I'll call the office tomorrow and find out if they still want to see me on Thursday, or if they want to wait.  Insurance says that they won't do a PET scan until I'm 4 months from radiation.  So I have to find out if Dr. H wants to wait for 4 months to do chemo, or if we're going to start it before the PET scan.  Blech.

I'm also going to see Dr. P for my radiation followup and the other Dr. P for my peg tube followup.  Lots of doctors after having a break for a few weeks.  Oh well.  It was nice to have a break for a few weeks.

Colton and Rohan are both still sick.  It's a virus, and it's nasty.  Both of them have been puking and running high fevers.  Paul doesn't want me caring for them, obviously, because we don't want me to get sick.  But I still wake up every time they come in to see him.  On Friday, I told Michael, my boss, that I needed to go home around 1:30 and take a nap for an hour or so and then I'd finish the day from there.  I slept until 6:00 pm!!!  So, I worked for a few hours yesterday to make up my naptime.  But good grief.  I didn't think the boys had kept me awake that much!

The girls and I made a Goodwill run yesterday to get clothes for their mission trip.  They leave a week from today.  WOW!  But, anyway, they needed clothes that they could do construction in without messing them up, so $45 later at Goodwill, and they've got shoes, jeans, and shirts to wear out as they build a house.  I got a sweet email from the Middle School Pastor this last week promising to take care of my girls as though they were his own.  I know that he'll take care of all of the kids that way, but it was nice to have him single out my girlies.  They're very excited about the trip.  We have a few more things to buy.  Sunscreen, one more sleeping bag, a solar shower if we can find one.  But otherwise, they're ready!

Have a great week!

On my way to take the girls to school and come to work, I got a speeding ticket.  He says 20 over.  I wasn't paying attention, but knowing that the Expedition's engine is powerful and it's easy for me to speed without noticing, he's probably right.

I have to go to court.  Oh goody.

In November, I was given "The Encouragement Bible," by Dave Dravecky's Outreach of Hope ministry. 

I have decided that when I don't have much to talk about, I'm going to post something from this Bible.  Maybe it will feed your soul.  Maybe it won't.  But that's not going to stop me.

If anyone you know is diagnosed with cancer, please contact Outreach of Hope and order their Encouragement Basket for that friend.  It doesn't cost a penny (though you can donate to the ministry, and they would appreciate it).  That basket has been wonderful.  It has The Encouragement Bible, along with other great books on depression and cancer.  It has Dave's autobiography "When You Can't Come Back," and some CDs of short devotions or books on CD.

My favorite Bible verse is this:

Jeremiah 29:11-13

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Plans to Prosper You ~ Joni Eareckson Tada

A woman whom I had been counseling shook her head and nervously said to me, "I could never live in a wheelchair totally paralyzed."

"Relax," I replied with a smile, "Because you'll most likely never have to."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked suspiciously.

I had her flip open her Bible and read Jeremiah 29:11.  After she read the verse, she frowned and said, "But what about you?  Look at your wheelchair.  You don't think God's plan harmed you?"

I sighed and smiled, realizing there was no way I could convince her that God's plan for me has meant only spiritual prosperity and a hopeful future.  But then again, I'm the only one who needs to be convinced of it.  And I am!

God will permit in your life only those trials that, with his grace, you are able to handle.  That includes everything from emotional pain to physical paralysis.   And this is why you have the assurance that his plans mean only spiritual prosperity for you and a hopeful future.

So, tonight was Ciera's year-end cheer banquet.  We held it at The Olive Garden.  Mama took the other 3 kids and they sat at their own table while Ciera and I went to the banquet. Then the 4 of them walked across the parking lot to the mall to get dessert in the food court.

As the banquet was ending, the twins asked if Ciera could go with them to Starbuck's since they were all dressed up and it would be fun to go all dressed up, I guess.  Then, could she come home with them to watch a movie?  I said, "sure," and later in the evening asked if she could just spend the night since we're losing an hour.  Anyway...

I left Olive Garden and drove over to the mall to get Granny and the kids.  And my cell phone rang.  It was Carissa's phone, so I knew it was Ciera.  Ciera had a story:

Apparently, after I left, the "very cute" waiter that had waited on our banquet was clearing the tables.  Somehow, he tripped.  And the tray he was carrying full of dirty dishes went flying toward Ciera's head.  Two landed ON her head and broke.  One was FULL of spaghetti sauce.  She wasn't hurt, except for a bump on her head (I was thankful it didn't CUT her head), but she was dripping spaghetti sauce.

The waiter, needless to say, was MORTIFIED and just felt awful.  He ran to get a manager, who brought Ciera an icepack and a gift card for a future visit.  The note in the gift card said, "I'm very very very very, oh-so-very sorry.  Love, Scott."  OK, Love?  Whatever... he was probably just flustered.

Ciera, Carissa and Cassandra were all just cracking up as she was telling me the story.

Needless to say, they didn't go straight to Starbuck's.  They went to the twins' house, and Ciera took a shower and changed clothes.

At least it was at the END of the banquet, huh?