Sorry... I didn't mean to not check in for this long.

Meleia did not have to quit the musical.  It's over, no changing of minds, she's in the play, she has her part.  She has to work her tail off, but she's in it. Ciera committed to going to Meleia's rehearsals that Meleia can't go to and learning and teaching Meleia's part.

I've had a decent week pain and energy wise.  Went to the office yesterday.  Walking is getting worse and worse.  I have a walker coming today.  I have been using a cane, but it still puts a lot of weight on the bad leg, and right now, I can't put anything on that bad leg.  No weight at all.  So I become an old woman and get a walker.  Actually, I can't wait.  I want to be able to get around better at home.

Pain doc came today and said that I was flyin'.  He was very pleased with my progress. He's going to make certain that I have all of the meds that I need for our trip including some extra to help with my energy level.

It is a beautiful Colorado Fall day.  My friend, Tracy, is here.  She took the kids to school and is now out getting lunch and running an errand or two for me.  She's a good friend.  I'm very blessed with good friends.  It's nice to have someone just sitting here when I'm working.  I can talk and visit if I want, or work if I want.

ONE MONTH TO DISNEY!!!  I'm getting very excited.  I have to make some phone calls for my "special needs" on the airplane and we'll be good to go!

Happy Thursday!  And I'll talk to you later!

So, remember the cootie that Ciera has?  She's still running a fever, has deep, dark bags under her eyes, and can't stop coughing.

But I'm a mean mother because I wouldn't let her go to a friend's house today.  Evidently the friend has the same cootie, so they can't get each other sick, right? UGH!  We rarely tell her "no."  But I said no today, and I am SO NOT FAIR.  Oh well...

Meleia had volleyball practice today.  And she worked out the whole practice.  I thought she might participate in a drill or two, but she decided that if she was going to be on the team, she was going to push through the pain and really practice.  And she evidently did great.  They played a scrimmage and the coach put her in.  She also had several drills that had to do with aim, and she said she did better than ever before.  She may actually get to play tomorrow.  Coach may want to see one more practice first, but I forsee her getting to play sometime this week.

Which is good, because she's probably going to have to quit the musical.  The director decided to make a "manditory rehearsal weekend" the ONE weekend that she can't be there in October due to volleyball.  I'm ticked, because the adults in this have really screwed Meleia over.  They told her that she could try to do both, we got the buy-in from the volleyball coaches, and NOW they're telling her that she can't do both.  Two weeks into practicing.  Two weeks into her getting excited about accomplishing this.

I'm a bit ticked.  But it's not worth picking a fight with the director.

However, we have to have the talk with Meleia still.  She's going to cry.  She's probably going to scream.  She's going to be more ticked off than we are.

What she doesn't know is that she's already missing 2 games for the fall break surprise, so we just don't feel like we can ask the coach to let her out of two more games for the play.  Ugh, I hate this.

Well, today was a good day.  I had the energy to get up, shower, get dressed and go to church.  Once there, a donut from the welcome table sounded good.  The service was wonderful, and it was so good to see folks.  Mike is starting a series on The Sermon on the Mount, and today, we went through the beattitudes.  Because of that, we sang some really neat songs, and 3 old hymns that had been modernized.

The hardest for me to get through was "It is Well With My Soul."  I have to continuously remind myself that no matter what is going on, it is truly well with my soul.

After church, Arby's sounded good to me.  So that's where we went.  I ate half of a Beef and Cheddar sandwich!  I also snagged 3 french fries, and about 2 ounces of Ciera's strawberry banana milkshake.  Can you believe I ate all that??!?!?!

We came home and this afternoon, I also ate a small bag of Dorito's.  I had a pudding snack, and one small piece of pepperoni pizza for lunch.

What is going on with this appetite???  I mean, it's a good thing, but no wonder they can't get my Coumadin levels evened out.

Then, tonight, I went on an ebay book buying spree.  I knew that I wanted to buy The Kingdom of the Cults because Meleia has been asking some questions about Scientology (thanks Entertainment Tonight), and I don't remember enough.  I also needed a shower chair so that I don't have to stand in the shower. But then, I bought 4 different "Mom's Memories" books.  One for each kid.  And of course, then I had to buy a pretty blouse I saw.  You should always stop me from doing a "Coldwater Creek" search.

I know I've talked about my "Dream Hallucinations" before.  But today, I'm having a real problem with them.  It's like I'll remember something that didn't happen, but in my mind, it's clear enough for me to talk about it.  I've actually cried over it twice today, because it's so wierd.  How do I give you an example?  OK, the last one.  I was sitting in my chair, and was drifting a bit to sleep.  The Honda or Mazda "Mr. Opportunity" ad came on.  I hate that ad. In my drifting, Mr. Opportunity was shown with a cow selling him milk.  NOW, that is NOT what happens in that ad.  Meleia asked me why I hated that ad so much (because I usually complain when it comes on), and I said, "Well, for starters, why does he buy milk from a talking cow?"  She and Ciera just stared at me for about 3 seconds and then started laughing and said, WHAT?  And I said, "wait, what commercial were we just watching?"  When they told me, I got really upset.  Because as plain as day, there was a cow in that stinkin' commercial in my head.  I am having to filter everything that comes out of my mouth because 1/3 of it doesn't make sense.  Ugh.  I know I'm on a bunch of drugs, and the combination is enough to cause me to have wierd dreams and such.  But it's so aggravating!!!

And Ciera has her first cootie of the school year!  She called a few friends tonight, and it looks like everyone who was at play practice yesterday morning has the same cootie bug. She aches from head to toe and is running a low grade fever.  We wouldn't let her go to church this morning.

Does anyone know how to "care for" fresh peas?  Our garden is giving an abundance of peas, and Paul wants them to stay "fresh."  I know that before freezing them we need to blanch them, but neither of us knows exactly what that means.  Help?

Have a wonderful Labor Day, all!

Oooohhhh.... Lemongrass has launched the fall line, and it's got some goooood stuff on there!!  Follow the link above or this one and shop online.

New stuff includes:

• All-natural deodorants in Grapefruit Lily, Lavender, and Men's Private Reserve
• Face kits for Normal, Oily, and Dry skin
• Hydrating eye creme with cucumber extract
• Almond Body Creme (Yum!)
• Baby massage oil and "Bottoms up" Balm
• Burgandy mint lip shimmer (tinted)

And the foot fetish kits now come in vinyl bags rather than the black boxes.  If you've ordered a foot fetish kit from me and would like a vinyl bag, they're $4.  Just let me know, and I'll get one for ya.  Also, the foot scrub brush now has pumice on it, and you can buy that for $4 as well.

For my check-in, I'm doing fine today. Still feeling good. Decided against a radiation treatment on my hip bone.  It was for pain control, but my pain is under control right now, and I'm not sure what radiation will do to me systemically.  So it's on the table, and I could do it, but I've decided not now.

Now to enjoy an evening with my family...

• Still feeling good
• In the office
• Ate a "real" bowl of cereal for breakfast
• Currently eating chicken tenders for lunch.
• I have liquids here if I need them, but I'm trying to not need them while I'm at work.
• Have a mystery appointment with the radiation oncologist tomorrow.
• I'm hoping that if they want to do radiation again, it doesn't kick my tail like it did last time.
• Especially since I'm working hard to prove my worth at work again.
• Anne, I'm feeling a bit irrelevant in the office.  Estelle is here to do analysis, and they guys are the best coders for campaign support in the west.  I'm afraid they're running me out.  But we'll see.  I wish you were here for the ROSS debrief today.  I miss you madly.
• I HAVE EYELASHES!!!  They're danged short, but they're there.  Kind of like the fuzzy hairs on my head.
• Meleia had her first tough play practice last night, and came home stoked.  They choreographed "Hard Knock Life," and I guess it's a lot of fun.  I hope she realizes she has to SING while she does this fun dancin'.
• Rohan has a crush on his art teacher.  I got to hear all about what she wore yesterday down to her nail polish.  And he doesn't remember her name.  Bless his little head.
• Back to work.  Just checkin' in!

Just letting you know that I'm feeling good and working from home.  Pain is fairly under control.  Brain is clear.  Life is pretty good for a Monday.

Well, it has been a rather tough weekend.  Yesterday was a wierd pain day, and today is cold sweats again.  I wore my bike shorts all night to help lessen the swelling in my stupid fat leg, and today, it hurts a lot in my abdomen.  It's the area where the tumor is.  I'm hoping it's not growing. 

The boys are in my room watching the little league world series.  Fun.

Oh well... Friday night, our church had a dinner/show with the Colorado Wranglers.  Aunt Nancy and I went just for the show, and it was really fun.  Cowboy music is always fun, and when they sang "The Mississippi Squirrel Revival," it made me laugh.  I don't think they were going to do that song, but Rohan ran over to one of the guys before the show and asked if they were going to, and they said that they would.

I got to see some folks that I haven't gotten to see for a while.  Got a lot of hugs.  Poor Aunt Nancy hit the "panic" button when unlocking the car for me, so Paul said we didn't know her.  Just that we had hired her to drive.   But since on Friday, I went to work, chemo, and then to the cowboy show, I was pretty worn out yesterday.

I had a lot of pain meds in my system yesterday.  It wasn't awful except that I tend to get into my spiral thinking when I'm over-tired or I hurt.  I took Ativan to stay on top of that, but it just added to the sleepy feeling.  Yesterday afternoon, my friend, Brenda, came and got the girls and took them home with her to prepare a few meals for the week.  She also bought them each a recipe box and they wrote down the recipes that they fixed.  Next time, they're supposed to make the shopping list, and she will take them shopping before they prepare.

Paul and the boys went to see the Sky Sox play last night, and had a good time.  I'm glad when they're able to do that.

Today, my abdomen is tender, and I don't feel much like moving.  And like I said, I've got the cold sweats.  Ick.  But the kids went to church, and I've just taken it easy today.  I'm going to get a little work done in a bit, but it has been good to take it easy without being groggy today.

I have one question about meds.  How the heck am I supposed to take one of my meds on an empty stomach (2 hours before or 3 hours after a meal) when I'm also supposed to be on continuous tube feeds?  And my pain management doc said that I should take it because the steriod that he has me on can mess up my stomach (this is a stomach med).  Hhmmm....  I guess that's a question I need to be askin' someone, huh?

My oldest child has the most interesting sense of fashion.  But she manages to pull off the wierdest combos!  Today, she was wearing a smock from the 1940's, a dress that my grandmother would have worn to do farmwork when she was a girl, over a cute t, with footless leggings, and a Gucci belt tying up the whole thing.  Seriously...  She pulls stuff like that off all the time.  At her age, there is no way I would have been willing to be "different," but she not only is, she sets trends by doing it.  Other kids will likely be dressing like that next Sunday.  She does it with her school uniforms, too.  I've never seen anyone get around the rules better.  She wears big chunky jewelry (no rule against it), spreads her collar way out (no rule against it), wears high heels (no rule against it).  I should take a picture of her every day for a week and just show y'all.  You'd be amazed at her.

And on the topic of the fuzz that is growing on my head, Meleia came in and just started howling laughing today.  I evidently have one straight, long, gray hair that is sticking up from the curly brown stuff that's coming in.  She thought it was the funniest thing she'd ever seen.  If I weren't afraid that more would come with it, I'd ask her to pluck it I think.

Before you do anything else, if you didn't see this clip on GMA last week, watch it now.  It was the very best advice for friends of people who are going through a health crisis...  The advice given here is partially why I started the blog...

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=3482063

OK, so we've got 3 chemo treatements down, two to go.  And I'm so tired of getting them.  Isn't that awful?  I preferred the days that I had to go in for the whole stinkin' day but then was done for a while.  Going every day is just tiring.  And I really dislike chomping ice for 30 minutes, too.  I know that it's keeping the mouth sores away, but I used to be an ice chomper.  Never again.  My tongue just gets so sore and swollen.  Ick.

But the nausea hasn't been bad at all, in fact, I've been eating just fine between the tube and actually eating.  And yes, I'm actually eating some. 

It has been very nice to have Aunt Nancy here.  She's been helpful with getting everyone hither and yon.  The girls started school on Monday, and the boysies didn't start until today.  And today is only a half day.  To TracyE is coming down to hang with the boys this afternoon while I'm at chemo.

I'm getting my hair back!!  It's brown and curly.  It's not photo worthy yet, but it is coming in.  It's very fine.  I'm just praying that I get enough back before he puts me on a different chemo that takes it away again! 

Disney is totally paid for!!!  You guys, it's a miracle.  There is even souvinir money that was donated for the kids.  Not a lot, but some.

Paul's job is going OK.  He's got 2 8th graders that he's about ready to strangle, but otherwise, it's all going well.  They had a tornado out that way last night, so I wonder if any of his kids were affected.

Alright, I guess that's all for now.  I have some work work that needs to get done.  Don't guess that's going to happen unless I actually do it.

We got no bad news today.  The cancer has not spread to my lungs, chest, or any other organ.  The large original tumor has not grown, but the smaller one has just a bit. Yep, no bad news.  The only iffy news was that the cancer has eroded the bone a bit more than last scan.  So, Dr. H is going to request that medicine whose name has left me that helps build up bone mass to keep the cancer out.  So, one more injection.  *Sigh*
 
He was a bit unhappy that I had a pain crisis while he was gone, but was proud of his staff for getting onto everything with the palliative care docs, and just giving Dr. Y papers to sign to admit me to palliative care.
 
So, we're going to do 2 more "treatments" of this chemo.  This week, and then a week 4 weeks from now.  After that, we'll do a scan and see where we're at.  We're praying that this scan shows no changes in the tumors at the very least.  At best, we'd love to see shrinkage.

But no bad news.  We'll take no bad news!

Hey everyone.  It's me.  I'm still working on getting the pain under control, but it's definitely getting better. Details will follow soon, I hope.  I'm just swamped with work after being out for a week, and the hospital doesn't have wifi for me to update from the chemo room.

But I wanted you to know that Ciera does NOT KNOW about Disney!  My mom logged in, and got to the editor page on Xanga.  We asked Ciera to post her update, and then leave the computer.  We saved it, scrolled down, and let her come in to read it.  She knows something is up, but she doesn't know what.  We've told the kids that we're going to a cabin for fall break. They all still think we're going to Grand Lake.

OK, have to work.  Outlook is going wonky on me this morning and not letting me respond to emails from work folks. Grr..