Well, it's Meleia's 14th birthday.  She's not here, she's in MN.  Phooey.

BUT, my friend, Anne, is in labor, so it looks like her baby girl may share a birthday with my baby girl.  Meleia and Anne have a special friendship, so that would be very cool.

Just so you know, I'm feeling a bit better.  We've figured out that I truly need nurturing when I'm blue.  Not just someone else who is sad.  Not someone who asks every 4 hours if I need water.  I need nurturing.  That can consist of something as simple as sitting on the couch working while I sit in the chair working.  But I need that.  And last week, I didn't get it.  With the exception of one day that Paul's dad spent about 4 hours sitting on Paul's side of the bed watching mindless court TV shows with me while I worked.  So. That's that.  That's something that I need.  A huge turning point in the week was when Maureen came over on Thursday night and just spent 2 or 3 hours with me.  Not really doing anything, in fact, we were watching TV and just chatting.  But it made a difference.

So this week, several friends are coming over to just be some quiet companionship on days that I'm not in the office.

Birthday Montage!

• Not tons, but I slept well last night.
• Sleep seems to make a difference
• Giving me an altered dose of Epirubicin plus Aranesp and Neulasta helped my counts
• THEY DIDN'T TANK!
• Mama talked to Dr. H
• He said that I'm just in a bad place in treatment
• Treatment 4 in round 2 of chemo is a black place
• I'd be superhuman if I weren't droopy and down.
• Then he upped my antidepressants again
• My dad came today and just did work on the couch while I was working in the chair
• It was nice to have a body right there all day
• Maybe isolation isn't good for me
• Dr. H said that his short term goal is that I will feel great for Florida.
• His long term goal is that I have too much to live for to die young
• Treatment is just hard
• I love otter pops on a hot day!
• I'm glad Colton stuck some in the freezer!
• Keep prayin'!

• Not feeling very good
• Today's the day my counts tank
• I have to get up and dressed and head to the hospital for a blood draw
• Don't feel like going
• Received a major gift over the weekend- an adjustable hospital-type bed
• Thank you so much, Mary & Matt.  Be watching your mail...
• Yes, a hospital bed means that I'm very sick.  I am very sick.
• I'm praying that I have the strength and energy to go to WDW in the fall
• Right now, it doesn't feel like I'll be able to
• It's probably the chemo that's making me feel this way
• But I'm really depressed and worn down
• No job leads for Paul
• Not sure how much longer we can hang on without one
• I've cut back to 30 hours at work
• MIL & FIL aren't answering their cell phones. 
• They're supposedly leaving tomorrow with the girls
• I don't want my girls that far away from me, but they deserve a break
• Can't wait for my parents to be "back"
• Even though we've talked every day, I wish they were closer, too.
• Paul and I did a lot of crying this morning
• Keep praying...

I'm still weary and a bit tottery on my feet.  I'm working from home today, and have managed to keep my brain focused so far this morning, which is good.

It's going to be 90 degrees here today.  Ick ick ICK!  I'm thankful for the window AC.

My parents left for the mountains this morning for a long-needed vacation.  I hope that they're able to enjoy themselves.  I've needed Mama most weekends when Daddy has been home, so I'm glad that they're together and alone.  MIL and FIL are here taking care of my family through Wednesday, when my counts will likely drop.

Paul and the kids tried to set up the pool yesterday, and evidently blew something in the well out... yay.  So, I guess I know what Paul will spend his 90 degree day doing...

OK, back to work.  Just wanted to tell you that I made it through the weekend...