July 12, 2007

  • Temper Tantrums

    I just threw the mother of all temper tantrums.  Seriously.  You'd have thought I was 3.  I was mad.  Mad about being an invalid.  Mad about hearing "you don't need to worry yourself with that..." Mad about hearing "You don't need to DO that..."  Mad that everyone thinks I can't do anything or SHOULDN'T do anything.

    Except work.  Where I worked my first 8 hour day since cutting back to 6 hours.  I told Michael he had me for exactly 4 hours tomorrow.  No more.  He got too much of me today.  But there were too many deadlines.

    So anyway, I got mad and decided to pack to go to Denver.  Paul is going to drive to meet his mom to get the girls and swap out the boys, and I can't be home alone, so I'm going to my parents'.  My mom's friends want to have a mini Lemongrass party, so I went digging for my kit (it was buried in the closet). I found it.  I lifted it out of the closet. I added the things that were scattered around the house.  I got my clothes together for Denver, though I wasn't sure at all what to pack.  At home I live in my jammies and loungewear.  Can I do that in Denver?  I went digging again in the closet and found a duffle bag to put my clothes, etc. in.

    With each step, my stupid STUPID leg tightened up a little bit more.  By the time I was done, I couldn't walk anymore.  Which probably wasn't smart.  But mentally, it did a ton for me.  I did it MYSELF, THANK YOU!  I'm still out of breath.  My heart is still pounding (120 bpm).  My nose is stuffy and my eyes are burning from crying.  But I did it myself.

    Since when did packing to go away for the weekend become such a huge accomplishment??  This is why I was mad.  Packing to go away for a weekend should be a non-event.

    Oh well.  It's done.  I'm exhausted and in bed for the night.  I took Xanax to calm down the crying, so I'll be sleepy soon.

    Paul and the boys are afraid of me... they left to go get dinner.  Actually, Colton is here in case I completely overdid it and killed myself, he could call 911.  But Paul told him to leave me alone unless I called him or collapsed and let me get it out of my system.  Smart man.

    Here's how the day STARTED...

    At 5:55 am, I woke up because someone or something was pulling on my tummy tube. It was Junior. I said his name, and he took off running, pulling over the IV pole and somehow getting out of the tubing that he had been tangled in.

    Paul chased him to the laundry room and found that Junior had also left us a stinky present in the den. He cleaned that up, and saw one of Rohan's African clawed frogs hopping around the hallway. Threw him back in the aquarium. Came back to bed and he fell asleep for an hour. I drifted, but didn't sleep.

    At about 7:00, I went to unhook my tummy tube to take my "empty stomach meds" and found that when Junior ran away, he disconnected me from the pump. So the g-tube essentially "threw up" all over the floor in one place while the pump continued to pump liquid nutrition into the carpet in one place for an hour.

    Ggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    I've cleaned the g-tube with really really hot water. And threw away the bag and will prime a new one shortly.

    That dog. I swear... he is so dumb! At least he's cute, I guess, huh?  And old.  He's got Dogheimer's Disease, but he has GOT to stop doing this stupid crap.  How did he even get out of the Laundry Room??

Comments (11)

  • (((Evie))) Take it easy tomorrow please? love ya!

  • Oh Evie, sounds like a terrible day, but at least you made it through.

  • The dog thought that the carpet was looking a little peckish... needed some nourishment? Sorry... just trying to help you make light of a crappy situation.

    I hope you're able to relax and enjoy your weekend. ****hugs****

  • {{Hugs}}

  • Way to do your stuff by yourself!!!

    It also sounds like you and Vincent will be fast friends. Both of you wanting to do it by yourself without help. Hah!

  • I think sometimes a tantrum is good for the soul.  Gets the fire going. Sure there is fall out, but having your family afraid of you for a little bit can be beneficial.  I'm glad you're getting away for the weekend. 

  • Wow!  That must have really felt good!  I think a little drama can go a long way sometimes.  You have every right to feel angry.  Go home and enjoy...make a bunch of sales!  Praying for you!

  • I agree that sometimes those little hissy fits can do wonders I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to want to DO all the things you're use to doing but to not feel good all the time. Just the few times I've been sick for more than a couple of days makes me nuts - I would not be a good patient.

    I hope you have a good time with your parents and sells lots of stuff!

  • (((Evie))) I could have written the upper part of your post... being mad about being more or less an invalid and knowing I can easily bugger my legs up. And normally I do :( and then can't walk but maybe to the bathroom (in sheer pain) for a day or more. I get so angry. NO one GETS it!!
    D and I got into it the other night b/c I fell down. My legs gave out. I landed HARD. :( Too many what-ifs. What if I had Aiden? What if I hurt myself so bad I couldn't get me much less us up? What if I hurt Aiden when I fell?

    (((hugs))) I so know where your coming from!

    Have a lovely time with your parents!

  • WTG on getting yourself packed for the weekend! I know that did wonders for you mentally. Now go rest up and relax at your Mom's house and let her pamper you for awhile. Praying you have a good time with her friends and sell a lot. Sorry you had such a crappy morning though. I went online and ordered something from your site that I needed. Love ya and hang in there! {{Evie}}

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